13:26 - 06.05.05
responsibility so many meanings to that word. liable to give accounts of one's actions, able to be trusted, able to make moral judgement, able to fulfil financial obligations. ok... the last part is quite difficult for me. hehehe.. sometimes, i can't catch up with the bills. also, my company is paying for my phone bills. does that mean, i am not a responsible mobile user? whatever. just some thoughts for the week. with the current happenings in the office, i tend to get lost in my thoughts sometimes. which has not happened since i last quarelled with my dad when i was 17. those years... those years after my "O" were wonderful. my first job, first handphone (banana hp! the one in matrix!), first date, first boy.. those years.. but i have to admit that it wasn't as fun as the years in school. at 17, i suddenly had to grow up. my mum & dad got retrenched. my dad couldn't afford to allow me to go to the uni. my uncle thought i was stupid to have gone to TP. my relationship with my family became weak. it became worse with me constantly trying to widen my social circle. i had responsibility. i hated that word right up to when i was 20. as i ponder on it now, i know it was just a phase. something that my younger cousins and nieces are going through. there were so many foolish things that i did. i sometimes wish, i didn't do any of it. yah.. and i suppose, i perfected that skill of erasing the painful memories from my mind (highlight, delete, enter), that everytime (which is not often) someone/something reminds me of those things, i become truly emotional about it. yes, it was painful. but don't take it wrongly dear, am emotional not because i am still affected by it. it just happens. but it's nice to know that you're affected cos i was affected.ah, enough of this sappy stuff. anyway, is there such a thing as limited responsibility. just as a "private limited" company has a limited liability. hmmmm...
i hope the weekend will be better. i will be working again but will be launching a special exercise programme. so fun!
last night, i was so entertained by the OC! seriously, it really doesn't matter how screwed-up the family is, i secretly think that being seth is not that bad after all. i mean, how bad can it be if you can still afford to come up with stupid ideas, have fun in school and buy anything that you want right? and to top that, your family is still so close and cool. *dream*