17:50 - 27.05.05
don't you see it? it's right there in front of your face! people are not telling, not talking but they are certainly showing. showing it to you! and you don't see it? well... maybe you do but because of your big ego, you ignore. and now.. i hope you happy realise. i hope you're happy affected that people aren't exactly looking up to you.. and the next time, you get your doctorate or your medals and your balloons, i will be there to remember that you once did nothing for me. that you're nothing, that you've looked on the "little" people. it's strange to see how people in society react in different situations. today, you can say something totally nice to others and the next day, you're totally nasty. when an opportunity comes along, you grab it but you don't feel like you need to prove your worth anymore. you're just in it for the name cos when it comes down to working, you act like you're a blur cock. cannot tahan like this.
ok. i've got it out of my chest.
i've been having nice thoughts about how my life will be after june. i've already planned to kill someone visit perth with her. i hope it'll do me good. i think it'll be great! i wish he could tag along but i know he can't. anyway, am so glad that he's finally getting what he deserves all this while. i like this "new" him. it just sucks that my life now bears little resemblance to what i thought it should be. but whatever. anyway, i like being with him now. he's lighter (in more meanings than one.. hehe). i like!
i went around singapore to send some posters and postcards and what striked me the most about it was the people that i met and the places i went. obviously, civil servants are the slowest to react. maybe it's a disease morale thing. i don't get it lor... what's your problem. if you tell me cannot, then i don't put lah... no need to make such a fuss over it. siao.. :/ the people in hospitality seem to be the happiest workers around and they don't seem to judge you.
sometimes, i feel like filling in the blanks with names but if i start putting in names in here, i'll probably be slapped with lawyers' letter. because the community is so damn small i also care about their well- being.. i simply can't put any names.
i think the action just started in my PR world... i can't wait to see how this thing will turn out to be. but as a malay, i am ashamed and i wish those in this stupid "quest" the very best and may you lose more than you already have, your pride. you just sound so pathetic.