17:02 - 19.07.05
On the contrary, i havent been busy with work. What ive been doing is thinking abt how i can change the world... More accurately, höw to change MY life. I try my best to see the positive things in all this. I mean, there must be a good reason in all this. There must be, right? But i just dont see it. It's difficult for me when am surrounded by neg vibes. Maybe I create that vibe. In any case, i dont have THAT drive nöw. I want out, damn it. maybe it's the effect from the trip. maybe am just tired. tired of being this way.
i've uploaded all the photos from perth. thanks to him for putting it all on CD. i figured, it'll be a LONG time before i can ever develop my photos. looking back at the photos, i think i enjoyed myself. i was so caught up with the emo stuff that i forgot about the less emo things in perth. i can't help but miss those clean wonderful cold beaches at busselton and augusta. some people are just lucky to be born with nature around them. i must be lucky too cos i have bukit timah here. for the record, i have not stepped on since the last cross country my school had. that must have been 8 years ago? hmm... must go to that tree top thingy one of these days.
am starting to feel tired now. maybe cos things were going so fast, i didn't have time to take my time to breathe in fresh air. i just didn't. so many things. and i don't quite like this feeling of issues in my head/body/wherever. ever since i came back, i find myself grappling with issues. can one be so obnoxiously irritating that people just let you have your way to get rid of you?
i've signed up for that kursus thing at al-falah. thank god, it's in english... and am quite excited at the same time nervous about this kursus. actually, nervous is an understatement. more like ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!! it's freaking 10 months away and i am an emo wreck. is it normal? it's jitters + happiness + worry + euphoria...
anyway, pictures can be found here and here