10:03 - 24.08.05
decided to call my new kitten, spot. she has 5 spots on her body and i don't think i can ever call her baby, darling, sweetheart etc cos it just sounds too mushy. those names are more suitable for humans for me. hi spot! she's so adorable.
i saw you at the bridge and went on straight to see you, hold you, kiss you in joy. then, i saw her. i saw her walking towards you from another direction. she looked happy. she looked good. she looked like she was in love. with you..? before i knew it, she was holding you like i would have. huh? what was that about? you saw me. the look of guilt spread on your forehead. you told me, "am sorry... we have nothing in common..." i walked away. you didn't catch up like you always did. so that was the end of everything. right.
the emotions were too real for me but was glad that it was just another stupid dream i had. maybe the thought/fear lingers on in my mind with the wedding down to 9 months to go.
will be out of town this weekend for some outback trip to an unknown island called lingga. never been there. never bothered to find out. no toilet. most concerned about that. no proper sanitation, no hotel. in one of the sites i found about the place, (not many to start with), it thoughtfully informed that adventurous visitors should be prepared for 1) hotels that are not exactly hotels cos you might end up on someone's floor. 2)flights/ferry services are liable to be cancelled without notice 3)ferry rides are 4 -5 hours long depending on sea conditions. great. how thoughtful can the site be. informing others of the "impending dangers" visitors might have. oohh... but this is no joke. 4 days without proper lifestyle and there's only 2 of us braving the water and land and horrible possible pirates... wish me a safe journey, please. in fact, pray for my safety and health. anyway for the uninitiated, lingga is one of the riau islands where our last sultan stayed in and died. am going there to look for ruins and any interesting historical stuff that the family left behind. like indiana jones lah. indiana jonet.